Process Dynamics and Control 5710: Motherhood and Engineering
“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.” – JFK, 1962
Can I compare becoming a mom to landing on the moon? Are there rules about that? I know that from a societal perspective the challenges are a bit different, but on a personal level, it feels pretty much the same – particularly as an engineer who loves her job and intends to continue working.
The quote above has been on my mind a lot lately, not only because the moon was GORGEOUS the other night, but because I keep asking myself “why did I do this??” while I’m sitting up with my baby at 2 in the morning thinking about what waits for me in the day ahead. Every single time the answer is instantaneous: because I can. Because I want to. Because I am blessed with the opportunity to be a mom to an incredible little boy and shape some aspect of the future through him. Because I am also in a position to shape today for my family, my team, my company, and (dream big) my industry.
Being an engineer helps me to be a better mom. I know your first thought will be “Oh! It’s because she’s used to not sleeping with all those all-nighters she pulled in college!” but let me tell you, not sleeping at 20 is a LOT different than not sleeping at 30. You would be so very impressed with the root cause analysis into various failure mechanisms that was mapped on my bathroom mirror in the first few weeks of my son’s life. My husband and I would take turns walking with him as we developed and continuously improved the “please-please-go-to-sleep” process. There were setbacks. There were failures. But, ya’ll, we made it through.
We’re almost 7 months in now and whether the task of the day is troubleshooting teething vs growth spurt vs ear infection, figuring out infant nutrition, or streamlining our morning routine to get everyone out the door by 6:38, my experience as an engineer helps me parse through all of the information and feedback available and confidently pick the right path for us.
Being a mom helps me to be a better engineer and leader. First and foremost – it has given me a new perspective on the world and dramatically improved my management of work-related-stresses. Even when things hit the proverbial fan, stress is a choice, and I have a constant reminder that the world is so much bigger than the problem of the day. Any new perspective that allows you to tackle problems with clear focus is helpful!
He has also taught me the limits of my control – most importantly the fact that I don’t have any. Starting with the day he decided to make his entrance into the world on his own terms instead of according to my plan and all the way up to last night where rice cereal and green beans just weren’t going to happen… he keeps me humble.
No matter how much you plan (or how perfect the design or how smooth the process, etc), sometimes things aren’t going to go your way. Or sometimes it will go exactly as you hoped (baby boy started crawling!) and it will lead to some other consequence that you didn’t see coming (he has forgotten how to sleep).
In parenting (and often times in engineering) there isn’t one right answer. Keep in mind that you are taking on a difficult job, that struggling isn’t a failure, and continuous improvement is WAY more important than perfection. Why do we tackle challenges? Why do we solve the hard problems? Because we can. Because we get to. Because if we don’t, who will?
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